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Get the funk out.

Have you ever caught a whiff of someone walking by and thought: “there’s a cigarette smoker, she smells like bacon, or way too much Axe body spray?”  Nowadays, it is common to catch the smell of weed in the air and it’s not always welcome.  Occasionally, you may get a  friendly nod from a like-minded individual who recognizes and appreciates the terpene profile excreting from your clothes.  On the opposite side, you may get a piecing glance from someone in the grocery line who doesn’t find the funk pleasing at all.  How do you mask the smell so you’re not singled out? With a little common sense and the right tools, you can be discreet and enjoy the buzz without all the attention, minus the funk.

Rules to live by.  When possible, avoid joints in confined areas.  It is hard to control the smoke and smell when you’re standing in it.  As an alternative, consider a vape pen that can deliver the same punch without the carcinogens or lingering scent.  If you go the pipe route, use one with a lid or place a coin over the opening to eliminate excess smoke.  The device matters, pick one suitable for your situation and environment.

Dilution is the solution.  If you want to sneak a puff, a sploof can be your saving grace.  A sploof  is a homemade diffuser used to assist in eliminating the weed smell.  To make one, use an empty paper towel roll with a dryer sheet and a paper towel folded several times over one end of the roll. Then wrap with a rubber band to secure in place.  Exhale into the open end and what comes out the other is a sweet smell of linen.  If you still smell weed, add another paper towel and dryer sheet.   An even more effective method to the sploof, exhale into a lightly dampened terry cloth hand towel.   This method is effective in confined rooms or even the car.  Everything is trapped in the towel.  Wait till you see what is left behind in the towel…you may decide to vape instead.

“Better out than in, I always say.” Hotboxing in the car is NOT the way to go and will surely get you singled out by someone passing by or law enforcement. At all costs, avoid people and park in a secluded spot, preferable downwind. Roll down the window or open a sun roof and use a device that emits minimal smoke.  When finished, air out the car and spray it down with air freshener.  As a best practice, never leave devices or product in your vehicle, if you do, stash them in the trunk.

The eyes have it.  The most obvious tell-tell sign of someone enjoying a high is the dreadful red eyes. Have you ever noticed how much more people ‘look you in the eye’ when you’re enjoying a high?  If you’re eyes are like road maps, be ready for comments like: “were you crying” or “you look so tired.”  To remedy the situation, use a few eye drops to get the red out and moisturize your dry eyes; within seconds you can see a difference.  Besides, clear eyes helps you enjoy the buzz without interrogations and promotes eye health.  Before you step out, do a mirror check and see if the eyes are clear and ready for eye contact.

Pick a pot shelter.  If you live somewhere you can’t consume openly,  choose a room to use as your escape.  Generally, the best room in the house is the bathroom, especially if there is an exhaust fan.  Indulge before or after a shower when there is plenty of moisture in the room to help dilute the smell.  As an added measure, tuck a towel under the door to eliminate the escape of smoke or smell.  Finish up with a spritz of body spray or room deodorant to mask any lingering scents.

Create a Toker’s Tool Kit.  We’re all adults; let’s be discreet and responsible when it comes to our cannabis habits.  As a good practice,  experienced cannabis users carry the following items: hand sanitizer, wet wipes, Fabreze, breath mints, lip balm, eye drops and a scented candle.  Start the ritual in a well venerated room and light the scented candle, it will eliminate odors as it freshens the air (never leave a burning candle unattended).  After handling cannabis, use hand sanitizer to remove odors and stains from hands.  If you don’t have hand sanitizer, use wet wipes to freshen up hands and mouth.  Spray clothes from head to toe with a light mist of Fabreze.  Finish off with a breath mint, lip balm, and eye drops for a freshened look.  To end the ritual, extinguish the candle and face the world on your ‘cannabis’ terms.

As a progressive state, Colorado offers both medical and recreation cannabis to adults over 21 years and older.  It is the responsibility  of every resident and tourist of the state to abide by the laws established to date.  Ignorance is not an option.  Here are a few laws to keep in mind:

  1. Any form of cannabis is NOT allowed in public places, which includes but not limited to: city, state, and national parks, ski resorts, sports events, music concerts, campgrounds, bars, restaurants, or sidewalks.
  2. Do NOT drive under the influence of marijuana.  If caught, you may be charged with a DUI.
  3. Keep it in Colorado.  Do NOT attempt to transport cannabis out of the state, including the airport. Contrary to what the TSA said last week, but a special thanks #MassRoots for staying on top of things!

Get more information on the laws surrounding cannabis at Good to Know Colorado or get it straight from the horse’s mouth at   Until next time, please consume responsibly.

Peace, Love, and the Power of Cannabis,


Cannabis products are intended for adult use only.

Photo credit:

Lori Malcolm hails from a mountain town in western Maryland where she studied marketing, at Frostburg State University. She left a career in sales and sold her home to discover America from the front seat of her Subaru. After 48 states and 30 National Parks, Colorado was her first choice to call home.

After her two year journey, Lori settled in Boulder County and rekindled an old passion with cannabis. Her affinity with the ancient plant intensified after watching her husband suffer from the debilitating impact of rheumatoid arthritis and then seeing the incredible results of CBD tinctures to his continued recovery.

Lori currently works as a content writer and a cannabis trimmer. As an outdoor enthusiast, Lori enjoys all things Colorado, like hiking a 14'er or snowshoeing the high county. As a perpetual traveler, she looks forward to her next adventure, wherever it may take her. She and her husband reside in Lafayette, CO along with their two cats, Sage and Meadow.

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